Although my now-notorious-to-this-blog right knee is quite the theme of this summer, I'd be lying if I said it's hierarchically ruling my cares. Truth be told, I've been using it as an excuse. It has excused me from working and helping out around the house. It allows me to lay around on a couch, melting in paralyzing lethargy as each day slowly ticks by. It has even given me permission to go deep-sea diving into my thoughts instead of into God's Word, where I know I should but won't seem to let my thoughts reside. It's put me on an almost month-long journey that I inadvertently took to the desert. It's made me dry. A month of rest has been far from it, and God did a bit of His waving His hands in my face and snapping His fingers to get my attention today.
I sat down in the front row at church like I do every Sunday alongside Rebecca. Unlike any other Sunday, though, my pastor came over to me before the service started and conversed with me a bit about the status of my knee. After I let him know basically what my last post was about, he changed the subject to his upcoming vacation and how he'd like for me to teach the youth Sunday school class in his stead. I immediately said I would and he mentioned he'd send me an email with more details later. But, saying yes is what surfaced the realization of how dry I've become. It's not like I haven't been here before, and I've seen the signs along the way. I thought of how badly I want the youth to keep growing while the pastor is gone, but I can't want that for them yet deprive it of myself. I don't know why it is I so often hold myself up to some different and strangely distorted standards sometimes when it comes to God's grace, but I do. I thank God that He isn't letting this summer mushroom into yet another semester when I'm doubtful and completely self-absorbed. Those doubts can't be afforded, because God's got some work to do in me and some glorification to be had in Him.
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