Scattered

I've found myself yearning for honesty. Usually that always means I'm yearning for the God whose presence has become lost amongst math problems, mailboxes, friends, sleep, etc. It seems I have a problem? I guess it's kind of a big one? And maybe it's not actually a problem. But anyway, with such an innate need for purpose in my life all the time, I find myself having to refocus. A lot. A good Christian reads her Bible everyday. She also prays everyday. Even though those rules aren't explicitly written in the Bible as law, they are pretty well supported throughout Scripture. Would I be more focused if I read the Bible every single day for the rest of my life and spent more time focusing my thoughts on prayer with God? Would I feel more purposeful then? What does God think of those days when I don't even give Him a passing glance? I don't know if a day will ever come when I will honestly yearn for God's word every single moment of every single day. More often than not, I feel more inclined to pick it up and read it like I would a novel, allowing myself the opportunity to simply put it down when a chapter ends or when my attention is diverted. No real need to reflect, but hey, I've given God the opportunity to smack me in the face with Truth if He so needs. I suppose that would be called a ball-is-in-your-court mentality, which definitely isn't biblical.

Why do I have to work so hard at something that should always satiate my need for purpose?
Why am I so terrible at doing that?

Mmmyup.

In other news, today is Noelle's wedding. The ceremony starts six minutes from when I'm typing this actually. I'm supposed to be there, but I've had what I suppose is the stomach flu since Tuesday. Does that not seem like a long time to have the stomach flu to you? I think I'm getting better, but as of about half an hour ago, it's evident I'm not in the clear just yet. So I figured I probably shouldn't drive up to a wedding and start infecting other people. Noelle will be married regardless. I will be extremely happy for her regardless. Pictures will suffice, and life will go on.

And in other news, I've been listening to the bands Tilly and the Wall and Noah and the Whale a lot lately. Funny how their names parallel. One awesome thing about Tilly and the Wall is that their beats are laid down with tap-dancing. Sweet! And one awesome thing about Noah and the Whale is this song.

The end.