Underqualified

Here's a sort of reflection-y post for you. I am currently sitting with multiple tabs open for editing my class website. It took me entirely too long to weed through the CSS in my chosen wordpress theme just to change the background color of my header, so now I'm taking a break, realizing how long this could actually take me. My professor intends for these websites to characterize our professional selves in order to tempt potential employers with the endless possibilities of what we can do based on what we have done.

One thing about college that has always eluded me, though, is how little it actually does prepare you for the professional world. The greatest of my digital endeavors is an edited image of Justin Bieber's head on the screamer in Edvard Munch's "The Scream." Hardly professional. Sub-amateur even.

I can't help but wonder if my professor is just mocking us or giving us a reality check. Like, "See? You're not ready for the world. All you can do is fiddle around with CSS for half an hour and then get distracted by YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook." Is it true that I won't survive in a digital age if I don't catch up on CSS and HTML? If I don't run my own domain, will I really be that much less successful at life? I like a challenge, but I don't like living my life in or-else mode. My mathematics degree supposedly wants to send me off to some sort of computer or engineering job. That is, unless I want to teach. Still not sure about that one either. The seeming problem is that after all of this time and supposed preparation, I'm still daydreaming about what I could be and where I could go. I fear the slap in the face I'll get from my diploma next Saturday will crush my daydreams with the harshness of reality.

It's like I'm slipping into survival mode.
"Get a job!"
Which job?
"A job!"
Oh... well, okay.

I have a tendency not to fear the future, and I figure everything will be fine no matter how much effort I put into that guarantee. Part of it is laziness, part of it is because I've always had parents to make sure everything really is fine, and part of it is because I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.