...well I know, I know, I wanna be liberated

In continuation of the previous pathetic post, I proceeded to write whatever desperate thought came to my mind on the sheet of paper nearest to me when I was laying in my bed, whimpering myself to sleep. I read over that sheet this morning, watching my pride build up and finally explode into the final furiously scrambled line.

"I wish I cared more that Jesus loves."

So I popped the movie Saved! in and started watching. The beliefs portrayed in this movie are so distorted. They don't know Jesus at all, and I thought about how little I know him as well. That's when I wanted to open my Bible. I grabbed that sheet of paper from last night and flipped it over to the other side and wrote this:

"If I'm going to find a way to reject Christianity, I'm going to have to find a way to reject Jesus. Mark 6: 1-6 gives an example of Jesus being rejected.

He went away from there and came to his hometown, and his disciples followed him. And on the Sabbath he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were astonished, saying, “Where did this man get these things? What is the wisdom given to him? How are such mighty works done by his hands? Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him.  

And Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor, except in his hometown and among his relatives and in his own household.” And he could do no mighty work there, except that he laid his hands on a few sick people and healed them. And he marveled because of their unbelief.

And he went about among the villages teaching.

That's likely how Jesus looks at me, marveling at my unbelief, unable to do mighty works because of it. How foolish."