joyknees

I woke up at 5:00 a.m. This would be a bit more upsetting if I didn't know that I'm about to be knocked out by anesthetics in about five hours anyway. My last "surgery" was getting my wisdom teeth removed when I was 14-years-old. Consequences of "surgery"? I got sick -- threw up constantly, dry sockets, *and* an infection for kicks and giggles. My mouth tasted like sewage for about two weeks. So I feel like things can only go up from there? No really, I'm not worried about the knee surgery. When I finally got my knee checked out here at home and was told I have a torn medial meniscus and a torn ACL I was given my surgical options, as well as non-surgical options like, well, keep strengthening it to make it *better* but it will never reach full stability again. Um, no thanks? I'll take the surgery plz. Kthx. I'm getting an arthroscopy, which is the less invasive option, but my orthopedic surgeon did tell me that the extent of the tear on my ACL may call for a replacement. The arthroscopy will at least allow him to determine whether this is necessary. Obviously, I hope this is not the case, but given the crazy that has been my body over the past year, it wouldn't come as a shock. I don't mean to sound cynical about the whole thing. I realize I have a lot to be thankful for not only physically but mentally, spiritually, and other -allys. Plus, I have lived with a severely disabled younger sister for almost 19 years. Can't I be grateful that I don't have to live with my parents forever like she does, that I don't have to put my other sisters into the position of taking care of me if those parents die before me, that I can communicate my thoughts, that I can simply follow the "normal" pattern of life? Yes, I can be, and that gratefulness within me is renewed each time I look at my baby sister and she flashes me that ever-present grin. Despite her limitations, this girl has joy like I've not seen in most people. So what of physical health? What of mental health? We can patch up all the bodies we want. Heck, we can "improve" as many bodies as we want through plastic surgery, but the real and lasting, comforting joy we yearn for can only be found in God. And we don't find comfort for comfort's sake. Comfort enters in as an inevitable consequence of pursuing the one true God. "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." -Hebrews 12:1-3