Anxiety

Pretty sure this has been the worst week all summer. I say summer as in the season, not the vacation from school since it is quite evident to me at this point that I am at school. I'm not angry at this fact--I don't think--but I sure can't figure out how to handle it right now.

I am not a go and do something all the time kind of person. If you step foot in my house, you'll most likely see a Jones in almost every room just chillin'. It's true I have a much bigger heart for adventure than the rest of my family, but that only says so much. Like them, I am still pretty introverted, and I need my rest. As much as the idea of alone time brings me down, it typically does serve to bring me up.

I am also not a multi-tasker. This is not to be confused with being lazy (though I am that, too). I really cannot handle working on more than one thing at a time. On top of that, I don't really organize my things or my life or really anything. The futile attempts I make at doing this often confuse me or stress me out even more. Lists are daunting.

And yet somehow this week, I found that I am being put to the challenge in all of these areas. My heart still feels like it's in my throat, and it's been lodged there since Sunday evening.

I'm not even ready for freshman group.
I already have no idea what's going on in my Abstract Algebra class.
I've already been the worst friend to all of the people I love most.

And the sooner I figure out that I will never be able to pull all of this off on my own, the better. Having a full schedule is completely normal in this country, but it's always been something I avoid out of fear. Guess it's time to get over the fear. Guess it's time to get over myself.